This was the scripture that was on my daily Bible verse on Black Friday. It was exactly what I needed to hear, but didn’t realize it until later it the day.
I am not a fan of Black Friday for a few reasons, the main one being I don’t like crowds and especially crowds of people fighting for items on sale after giving thanks for all that we have been given. Another reason I have realized I don’t like Black Friday is that if going out in public it requires me to put on “real clothes,” which in this case was a pair of jeans. I have mentioned before I am much more comfortable in my workout clothes, but unfortunately I chose to put on jeans to go into town. This was a bummer because my pants were a bit tighter in the thighs and hip area after my holiday eating the day prior. I didn’t get crazy on Thanksgiving, but we had mimosas while cooking and I made chewy walnut brittle so I had more sugar than usual. For some reason my body responds quickly to things, so I was nice and swollen on Friday due to the alcohol and sugar that I had consumed.
This put me in a funk and started the negative self talk that I can be o so good at. By the time my mom, sister, and I got into the car to head into town I had gotten myself really down and upset, so I was just a ray of sunshine for them. We talked about it for a bit and Melis said “Jen, the Devil knows he can use this against you so he uses that as a foothold.” Truth. No doubt. I have thought about this before, and try to eliminate triggers for my eating disorder when I see them but am not always successful. It was after that statement I picked up my phone and read the verse on my home screen again. I had read it when I woke up that morning, but it didn’t really hit me like it did then. “…will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him” I had gotten so caught up in me and how I thought I looked and physical attributes that I was miserable and no fun to be around. How often do I let that happen? Does my waist size have any effect in my character or who I am as a person? I think not.
This brings me to another point, which is how we measure health today. I am a big advocate for the “Strong is the New Skinny” movement and looking at health in a larger perspective and not just by someone’s size. When I complain about my quads getting bigger or feeling a little puffy (it was a rough weekend) the response I receive is usually something about increasing cardio, running, or reducing fat/calorie intake to get smaller. I have read about and experienced the negative effects of the cardio/reduced calorie way of trying to get to an ideal weight or size, so I struggle when I get this response. I am trying to focus on getting healthy, not skinny and I have to remind myself of this every time I start to doubt what I am doing or think I can do things quicker by not eating much or running for miles. My blood work is starting to improve, I feel so much better, and I think I am much easier to get along with. (The combination of under eating and over-training led to a very irritable Jen.)
Sorry for going off on a tangent, back to Black Friday (now I have Back in Black in my head). We started at Wal-Mart because my mom needed to get bread for their turkey salad at lunch (I do not support this choice) and it really wasn’t any more crowded than a normal Wal-Mart experience…which I typically try to avoid at all costs. However, it was a successful trip, Melis and I picked up an HP printer/copier/scanner for $19! We hit up some other stores and I ended up with new workout clothes, some glass Tupperware I had been wanting, and a new blender for good measure.
This weekend was great spending time with the family and prepping for the Christmas season, the trees are up and it is now acceptable to listen to Christmas music. I love it. Now back at my place I am cleaning and gearing up for another week at work before a weekend in Dallas to go to the Shane and Shane Christmas concert at Watermark, it is going to be great!