What are you doing New Years, New Years Eve? Of course, I had to start it out with another song. I just can’t help myself. My NYE plans? Dinner at my parents house (my dad is cooking steaks on the green egg) and then probably going to bed early…it will be the third year I have been asleep at midnight on this night. I think I am OK with that.
With 2013 just around the corner, it seems appropriate to begin making plans for the New Year. Instead of adding something else to my plate, or yet another goal to stress myself out over and not complete; I have decided to take more of a minimalist approach. It is time for me to evaluate what has been going on this past year and focus on doing what is healthiest for me to move forward. This approach seems to be almost forced upon me throughout my life. I don’t mean someone literally forcing me to sit down and evaluate what I am doing and adjust. But my own body likes to send me these messages and force me to listen by not being able to handle the stress any longer and just pretty much shut down. This (un)fortunately happened yesterday.
I was reading a post about someone who had major health benefits from just BEING HAPPY and I thought; “when did my ‘issues’ (weight gain) begin this year?” and I realized it was when my stress level sky rocketed with everything that I have committed to and try to complete. Interesting. Then when I was getting ready for church I was anxious and stressed about putting on “real clothes” and not having anything that fit and my leg began to go numb. This happens when I eat gluten, but I hadn’t eaten anything that I can’t process so I finally made the connection with stress and anxiety. Wonderful. I was just SUCH a joy to be around in the morning at church…my poor family. When I get worn out and worked up about things without talking about them, I tend to become a weepy mess. I always say that stress comes out of my eyes. This is the point that I was at yesterday, and I should have seen it coming since it happened one day last week and I never really got out what was bothering me. I just put on a happy face and act like everything is OK – until I can’t pretend anymore.
So last night I went out to my parents’ house to watch Harry Potter and when I was sitting at the table while they ate dinner I noticed everyone got quiet and was just kind of looking at me. “…is this an intervention or something?” Well, kind of, yes. My family was concerned for my health and the state that I was in – understandably so. I started talking about things I had been thinking, and the water works began (shocking). With talking through these things, I realized things that I hadn’t thought about before and some of the pressure that I put on myself. I try to live up to expectations that I feel like I should and that I perceive that other people have for me – when all they want is for me to be happy. I try to do all of this with working +40 hours a week at a fairly stressful job, volunteering outside of work, attending a weekly Bible study, church, working out, and typically traveling every weekend. When I write it down it doesn’t surprise me that I have been exhausted and my adrenals are stressed…I’m pretty busy.
I have gone through a similar routine a few times while I was in school, trying to do everything and getting frustrated when I can’t do everything perfectly. I should be able to do it all and have it all, right?
OK, maybe not. It might be a bit of a stretch to believe that I can do 57 different things and spread myself thin through it all. When I do this I realize I can’t do much of any of my commitments well. Awesome.
So what is the plan for the New Year? To evaluate what I am doing and what my priorities really are. From there I can determine where I can/want to spend my time since I can’t do it all without sacrificing my health and ability to complete any of my lists. Who knows, maybe I could have a happier, healthier, and less stressful 2013? That would be fantastic!
I read this post this morning by Adam Farrah about wanting to have it all, but while doing that you don’t really have anything completely – and I definitely agree with this. I have unfortunately lived through it repeatedly…maybe I will learn it and the lesson will stick this year? Let’s hope so. It’s going to be a good year.
With that being said, I am about to take down my Christmas tree -I don’t think that it will be good to start the year off with things leftover from 2012 in my living room.
What are your resolutions for 2013?