Feel The Burn

And by that, I mean in my eyes.  I have mentioned before about my eyes burning when I tear up, which creates a cycle of pain because the more I tear up, the more they hurt, which causes me to tear up even more.  It is a wonderful cycle that occurs and can be interesting at work or driving.  Well, slightly dangerous when I am driving because I am squinting and closing one eye to try and make it stop!  …and embarrassing at work because my coworkers that don’t know what happens think that I am crying.  Neat.  I had asked my mom about this one day a few months ago and she did some googling.  It can be from dry eyes, which can be caused by a hormonal imbalance, which I definitely have.

I went back to my nutritionist yesterday for another follow up appointment and we ran through our usual list of questions.  He was less than pleased when he found out that I was having digestion problems…again.  I have also had water retention issues, so much so that my boots and pants are snug in the morning and gradually fit better throughout the day as I guzzle bottles of water.  This is good for my psyche. Really, I love it.

Ok, I joke.  I don’t love it.  I don’t particularly like it at all, but I haven’t been able to reduce it so why stress about it?  My New Year’s resolution was to stress less and stop freaking out about my size.  I am the same person no matter what size I am; I just need to buy bigger clothes so I am more comfortable no matter what size I am!  Comfortable clothes = happy Jen.

Ok, I digress.  What else is new?

So back at my nutritionist appointment.  We talked through the questions and I asked what his thoughts were on what is going on.  He says that I now have estrogen dominance; which is causing most of the things that I am having trouble with.  One thing that is going to really help is to get my digestion back on track, because you detox estrogen that way.  Since I am not eliminating estrogen AND retaining water, the estrogen is being pulled out, reabsorbed and stored.  Marvelous.

I have also have little bumps on my shoulders that get worse after I workout.  He says that this is from my estrogen being eliminated through my sweat.  I am having to detox that way, which is why it gets worse after I work out.  Seriously?  I heard this and said, “flippin’ A!  I didn’t have estrogen a few months ago, and now I have too much?!”  (I wasn’t really mad, I was laughing as I said it) He is going to work to increase my progesterone to improve the estrogen/progesterone balance.  However, he said that it might take a few months to completely get it back on track.  He will fix my digestion quickly, but the rest might take some time.  God is definitely working on my patience.  I am very tempted to stop taking my hormone support supplements because I know that my estrogen will drop again and the weight will come off, BUT that will just reverse what we have been spending the last few months working on.  So I will resist the urge and power through this.  I can do this.  I will do this.

I am continuing my working out and begin the BABY program on Tuesday.  The plant I work in has a Build a Better You program, which I enjoy calling BABY.  The trainers will discuss my goals with me and complete my initial assessment.  The program is supposed to be geared towards people who are not familiar with the gym equipment and need help with a plan to lose weight and such; so I am not 100% sure how they will respond to my goals.  What do I want out of the program?  I want to improve my form and work on Olympic lifts – I’m not sure how many requests they get for this.  I have a cardio plan; which is the couch 25k program three days a week, and I lift 2-3 days per week.  I need continued motivation and help with form on some of my lifts to make sure I don’t injure myself.  I think that the initial assessment and knowing that in 8 weeks they will do it again to check improvement will help motivate me. (and the cute male trainer doesn’t hurt either – I’m just saying.) (I’m also hoping no one who is close to him reads this…that could be embarrassing hahaha)  I believe the biggest improvements with body composition is going to come from my nutritionist, because estrogen dominance leads to weight gain in the areas I have been stressing over.

Did I forget to mention that previously?  Yes, estrogen dominance leads to weight gain in the abdomen/hip/thigh area.  I have been struggling with this since October timeframe; my upper body is looking better and some of my muscles are more defined, however my hips grew at an alarming rate.  No matter the diet changes I did; even with significantly reducing my carbs again, the weight would not come off.  And let’s face it, these hips don’t lie.

I am really glad that he has said that this is what is going on.  I have been suspecting it for some time, but hearing his agreement solidifies it and gives a reason.  (I did want to say “I told you so” but refrained from that comment)  I now have an explanation and can stop stressing and trying to change my diet to change my body.  I continue to eat 100% paleo, but had unfortunately thought about significantly cutting my calories again to try to alleviate some of this weight concern.  So much for not thinking about my weight…I am improving though.  It is all about progress, not perfection.  I am not perfect, but I am not where I was.  Thank goodness.  I don’t want to battle those demons again; I am more aware of my disordered eating triggers and negative self-talk tendencies, so I try to shut them out and speak words of affirmation before it gets too bad.

I think I have rambled enough, I am heding out car shopping again today.  I think I will be a new owner of a Hyundai Veloster before the day is up.  Is that weird?  I can’t decide if it fits me, but I like ‘em!  So why not?  No idea.  I don’t have kids, I can have a 3 door now while I am young…right?

Have a great day and no matter the circumstances, try to smile!  I have read that even the act of smiling (fake or not) can actually make you FEEL happier.  Give it a shot, throw on a smile this morning.


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