How Embarrassing…

I think my sister put it best when she saw The Bachelor, Sean Lowe, at church on Tuesday saying “I might have reverted into a giggly, googly-eyed teenage girl tonight.”  This happened to me on the same day, but I think it was a little more embarrassing.  I mentioned the BABY (Build a Better You) program that we have at work last week and I had my initial assessment on Tuesday.  So, the trainer is pretty…which makes me nervous.  Pretty people make me nervous and turn me into a 13 year old girl again – I can’t help it.  Anywho, part of the assessment is to check my heart rate and blood pressure…which were both REALLY high.  I told him that I was nervous, to which he agreed.  The woman who works with him replied, “he has that effect on girls sometimes.”  OMG!  I could feel the heat rising to may face, I can’t imagine how red I turned.  Aaaaaaaaand I am writing about it now.  There are really things I should not say or put in print.  O well, I sometimes can’t help myself.

When asked about what I wanted out of the program I said that I wanted increased strength and flexibility, I am working with a nutritionist which will work on my body composition.  Looking back on that question, my answers could have been very entertaining 😉  I also want to be able to complete at least one pull-up by the end of the 8 weeks.  He said that my hamstrings were more flexible than the target value, but my back extension was low.  I was expecting this because I think that I have “quad dominance,” which is why I have trouble getting low on my squats and tend to lean forward a bit.  I have found some exercises to do to address this so I will try and give them a shot.

I have completed week 3 of couch 25k and try to do day 3 on the treadmill.  After completing the 5 minute warm up walk I was ready to run, which I attempted to do and made it about 5 steps.  My heels were KILLING me, I couldn’t finish the 90 second run on the treadmill so I hopped on over to the elliptical and finished the day’s workout.  I am not sure what is going on, but my heels have been sore, I blame my work boots. Steel toed boots are not the most comfortable things on the concrete floor – but I have some on order that look like Sperry’s, so at least they will be cute if they aren’t comfortable, right?

O, big news!  I bought a new car last weekend!  It was a very stressful/exciting day.  I went to Absolute Hyundai in Mesquite and spent the day with Kevin to complete the purchase.  It was time, I had heard I might have to replace the engine in my old CX-7 which I was not OK with.  I was not going to put a new engine in that thing. I was just going to buy a whole new car.  So I did get a metallic grey Hyundai Veloster, which was what I was planning on.  I love it, and the 31 mpg isn’t too shabby either!  It has all of the bells and whistles I could want; navigation system, remote start, bluelink, panoramic sunroof…OK, maybe it has more bells and whistles than I need.  The remote start has come in handy this week, it was chilly a few mornings!

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For some reason, I have been nervous/anxious in the mornings.  It started on Wednesday and I am not sure why.  Our Tuesday night Bible study has started going through Jonah, and Matt spoke about how Jonah was disobedient and basically went to the other side of the world to try to escape God and his direction.  I think my nervousness is from me wondering if I missed God’s call to me and I am being disobedient.  I was sitting there racking my brain wondering what/when God called me to do something that I just did not do.  I don’t want to face that storm of love that would come to get me if I have done that!  This happened Wednesday and Thursday so when I opened my work email on Thursday to read Max Lucado’s daily message, I was reminded again of how truly awesome God is.  I talked with my mom about my feelings on the way to work that morning and was really uneasy about something that I could not put my finger on. (still not sure what it is)  But I read the message on Thursday and it was based on the scripture, “6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:6-7

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He knows what I need before I do, and puts things in our lives to help us feel His presence and know He is always there.  What good does my nervous feeling do?  Bring me down, make me uncomfortable, and stress me out –none of these are things that help me or anyone else.  These verses help remind me that God is in control, and I cannot fix things myself.  Through His strength, I can have a peace that goes beyond understanding.  If I missed His calling for me, He will remind me again…and again…until I listen.  All things work to fulfill His plan and bring Him glory; does me living with worry and fear do that?  Nope.  So is it of God?  Nope.  I still get the nervous feeling, but have to remind myself that it isn’t from God and His plan will be completed in my life.  He has a plan for me and it is wonderful.  Will it be exactly what I want all of the time?  Not a chance, but it will be good!  I just need to lay down my pride and belief that I know best to allow Him to work through me and guide my steps.  I have to remind myself of this sometimes, and sometimes it takes someone else to call me out on it for me to listen.  I am working on giving up control, I am a work in progress being molded and changed daily.

O, a Saturday with no big plans except getting a workout in and house sitting for my parents.  Yes!  I love a day with no responsibilities or time lines.  I will be spending the afternoon watching Bo, our pit-bull, who is quite spoiled.  He loves his naps, so we will be A-OK.

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3 Replies to “How Embarrassing…”

  1. Jen, I have struggled with control problems for 70+ years. “If you want something done right, do it yourself”. This phrase sometimes gets in God’s way. Keep trying….keep listening…HE will not leave you along until you hear HIM.

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