Gorgeous weather makes me want to go shopping…is that normal? I think it is because it gets me out of the house and outside in the sunshine…while walking between stores. 🙂 Yesterday was a FANTASTIC day with beautiful weather here in northeast Texas. I woke up early, read and got stuff hung up in my apartment that had been chilling on the floor for a while – glad I got that taken care of. Then went out in the afternoon to pick up some local eggs and made a stop in Hobby Lobby. I was going to buy a hook thingy to hang up my necklaces, BUT they were having a 50% off sale on decorative crosses. Half off? Yes, please. So I bought 5…for the price of 2.5? I have had my eye on some of them for a bit, so I thought yesterday was the time to buy them.
While checking out I made the comment of, “I came in for that (the hooks) and ended up with all of this!” A woman in line behind me said she used to have that issue, but then began making a list and not straying from it to which I replied, “You must have more self-control than I do, obviously!” and she said, “no, just less money.”
Well…this is awkward. What am I supposed to say to that? I just kind of laughed, took my receipt and we said our goodbyes.
Then I went to Hasting’s to rent a movie and made a detour through the books (of course) where I found two books that I purchased. Seriously, I have a problem when it comes to books. I got; Get Out of that Pit by Beth Moore and Power Thoughts by Joyce Meyer, I think they are good selections.
I rented The Perks of Being a Wallflower and watched it last night; it was a good way to end a relaxing day of hanging things up and organizing a bit. Check out what I did with my purses – this is why I can’t have a roommate…closet space.
While yesterday was good, the devil has been working overtime on me this past week. I had a bit of a breakdown at work on Thursday morning. Brittany, I’m sorry that you had to be the one to hear about my woes.
Last week I wrote about my visit with my nutritionist where he told me my weight gain was expected and that it was temporary and would fall off in a few months. I thought this was great, but over the weekend I was struck with the realization that I need to be OK with this weight, even if it isn’t temporary. That was fine until I put on my work uniform on Monday morning and once again it was tighter than it has been in a while. Time to put on that sweatshirt! I met with my trainer on Tuesday and worked out at the gym at work on Wednesday That is when the devil came through and tried to tackle me. I was on the ab crunch thing-a-ma-bob (technical term…trust me, I’m an engineer) when I looked in the mirror while sitting and was struck by the size of my hips. This got me very down, so much so that I only did 2 sets of the ab exercise headed to the rower and finished u my work out. I felt defeated and like a failure. Not going to lie.
I got in my car and was almost on the verge of tears and began to pray. I thanked God for all that I DO have and am capable of and felt better by the time I got to the church for rehearsal with the worship group. I thought that I was better and talked with my mom about it on Thursday morning and asked for prayers in this area.
Then comes work on Thursday morning. A friend made a comment that she did not know would trigger me to be upset – it wasn’t even about me; it was a good thing for her! I can make excuses for my response, but there isn’t a good one. I was too concerned with how I felt and how I thought that I looked that I got really upset and disappointed in myself and my circumstances. Interesting – there are a lot of “I’s” and “my’s” in that statement. O, selfishness and insecurities. How unattractive are those qualities? John 3:30 comes to mind now, “He must become greater; I must become less.” This would have been good to remember at that moment.
Since I was upset, I went to an asset on the other side of the plant and walked through the converting floor the whole way so I could wear my safety glasses and avoid people haha While on the way I was thinking about things and the Jeremy Camp song, “There Will be a Day”, was placed on me heart. I started to sing this over and over and felt much better.
“There will be a day with no more tears,
no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place,
will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face”
Even if this isn’t temporary, I will be OK. This body is temporary and God sees my heart. When He looks at me He sees His Son; who took my pain, sins, and sorrows and died for them on the cross –He doesn’t see my hips. He remains with me and supports me through all of this and places things in my life to continue to lead me to Him. Through these seemingly silly things (to some people, but they are very real to me) He stays with me every step, and cares about my struggles and hurts with me. He is the only thing that can pull me out of this pit and free me from this bondage and lies of the world.
“My chains are gone
I’ve been set free
My God, my Savior has ransomed me
And like a flood, His mercy reigns
Unending love, amazing grace.”
Amazing Grace (My Chains are Gone) by Chris Tomlin
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30