Oh my goodness good things are happening. And it isn’t the weather…
We have had some dreary looking weather Thursday and Friday, which would have been perfect nap weather had I not been at work. So today, I will take advantage of the rainy nap weather. Yes. It will be good.
I have big plans for today; laundry and nap – since I have gotten my grocery shopping done this morning. I am glad to have another day where I don’t have any “real plans” and can just chill at my place and relax. However, it could be dangerous for me to stay inside since I have just discovered modcloth.com. I went there this morning and already have quite a wish list going! I think I am going to keep it on the wish list for the dresses and swimsuits until my I see my nutritionist again next month. I want to talk to him about his plans and expectations of my hormone/weight situation before I drop too much money on new clothes.
That brings me to the good things that are happening. The week before last was a rough one for me with internal struggles, but things are turning around. I realized this Wednesday that I had made it a full day without saying anything negative about my body – that was a big step! I am now going on day 4 without a negative thing about my body coming out of my mouth. It might not seem like a big deal to some people, but it is a big step for me. I sometimes catch myself with the internal negative self-talk, but am working on that as well and have noticed it isn’t as often as it was even 2 weeks ago! “Where the mind goes, the man follows” so I am “training” my brain to not go down that route, because it is a frustrating place to be in. Why allow myself to say things about my own body that I wouldn’t dare say about someone else because of how hurtful it could be or because IT DOESN’T EVEN MATTER.
That is my biggest thing, it doesn’t matter. I know, I know…I have said this before. I tend to get on a soapbox about this and challenge some things that I hear and point to the media and how much it is changing our minds and dictates what we think and perceive as beauty/success.
I think a big driver in my change is that I am finally not stressing over my body and calculating everything that I eat. I am still 100% paleo, but am not freaking out over every little thing. I have a general idea of the macros that I am consuming throughout the day from my years of counting and tracking my food, but I don’t spend energy analyzing it. I enjoy my meals and eat a ton of vegetables with protein and good fats, but most importantly – I ENJOY MY MEALS. I am eating things because I like them and I know that they are good for me and are healing me from the inside out.
I know they are healing me from the inside out because I can feel it. I think my hormones are beginning to regulate because I have had a cycle for the past several months (TMI – sorry) and my eyes no longer burn! I forgot to tell my nutritionist that, but it was an exciting day when I realized my eyes have stopped burning when I tear up, I think he will be excited to hear that too.
I started the Olympic lift training a few weeks ago and have improved my form on dead lifts and power cleans – woo! I changed my training from Tuesday to Thursday this past week because I had a hair appointment on Tuesday, and let’s face it – that is important stuff. So by the time Thursday rolled around I had had an appointment or something to do every day after work so I wasn’t feeling like training. I texted my trainer “Sorry to change again, but I am not going to make it this afternoon”, to which he replied “Glad u said something I’m outta town anyways ok let me know nxt week” (side note: text messaging has done wonderful things to grammar and the English language – don’t get me started) Really?! He forgot about our session and went out of town…I am his client and am paying him…what in the world? I was very surprised by this response; couldn’t he have just said “OK, let me know about next week”? haha o my. Well, I don’t think that I will be going next week; I can tell he will miss me…
The crossfit gym is opening next month, which I am really excited about. I think that it will be good, but I don’t think that I will be giving 100% in my workouts until my hormones and adrenals are back in line and healthy. I don’t want to chance going back down that trail.
I think that another reason things have been turning around for me is because I haven’t been working out as much as I used to. I have been heading to the local track to walk when the weather is nice, but outside of that I have been resting when I am not super busy…which isn’t as often as I would sometimes like.
Well this has been a nice and random post that could be difficult to follow, sorry about that.
Synopsis: Good things are happening because I am changing my thoughts 🙂